I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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