Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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