who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize