I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I am available for nakedness
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
