I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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