I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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