She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
