just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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