It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Randomize
