My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
