Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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