Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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