you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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