oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
