Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Randomize
