jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
