I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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