If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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