you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize
