Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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