Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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