She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
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