her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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