The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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