lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
