see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
