And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
