apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
