so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
