So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
