Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
