Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
