And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
