Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize