Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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