So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Randomize
