made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
