it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I fill condoms, not promises.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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