yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
