I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Randomize
