Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
