oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize