I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
