He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize