Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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