Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
