I cannot find my penis.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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