i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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