She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i drank out of a bidet.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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