My sheets look like a crime scene.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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