Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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