Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
