I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
