are you still at the devil's house?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
