tell your sister to shave her snatch
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
