I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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