you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
