im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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